Do dress to impress, but avoid wearing those striped shirts or hounds tooth patterns. You want your clothing to add to your credibility. Viewers will judge you by what you have on, even if that’s not fair. You do not want your clothing to be a distraction as people try and figure out if you are wearing a designer dress shirt or just a gigantic QR code.

Do not slouch, lean back, or attempt to be the Hunchback of Notre Dame incarnate. Lean forward roughly 15 degrees into the camera; you will look taller, leaner, and more confident. Leaning forward also helps add definition to your jaw line.

Do move your head and body enough to look natural but not so much that it appears Gangnam Style may be playing in your earpiece. You want to look natural, confident, and credible. Natural movements make sense, sitting perfectly still does not.

Avoid any movements that would take your hands above your head, past your shoulders, or through your hair. Remember you are being projected onto a box in someone’s living room or on their mobile device – not a movie theatre screen.

Do move your face and remember to blink, otherwise you will look like a robot.

Most important have fun and be yourself. There may sound like there are a ton of tips to remember and actions to avoid but just remember that you are the expert for that moment, proceed confidently and deliver your message.

What’s new?

A whole lot. As of January 2nd, 2013 I accepted a really exciting offer to work for Burgess Advertising and Marketing as their new PR/Social Media Specialist. This career move has moved me out of the hospitality world and into a world focused on Social Media and PR. Burgess has been around for over 25 years and the experienced marketers that work their have already helped me learn a ton about traditional media. Having made this move, I obviously left the Portland Harbor Hotel. The hotel was extremely gracious and supportive – so if any of my reader’s are customers of the hotel or Eve’s, I hope you will continue to do business with them.

What’s changed?

Besides for what is covered above, part of my agreement with Burgess is that I will no longer do social media consulting under the Social Impressions umbrella. For some reason they don’t want me taking business from my job and bringing it to my business. I will also do most of my social media blogging under the Burgess name and not here at Social Impressions. There will be instances where I blog about social media and if by chance, I write something that is too crass for the Burgess blog, you will find it here. This change of flow is actually a blessing as this will free me up to do more blogging about what I am equally as passionate about, The Greatness in Good People. Future blog entries will focus more on encouraging my reader’s to follow their passions and make inroads to living the life they feel called to. I will do a lot of reflecting on my history with cancer and also care taking for my wife. It will be the voice I always write in just this subject matter will be more in line with helping you achieve.

What to expect?

You can expect to hear from me at least weekly, probably more than that. You can expect to read this blog and come away feeling encouraged and hopefully that it was worth your time. Most of all you can expect my passion and energy, hopefully the same passion and energy that has drawn you to my blog.

In closing I hope that all of you who have begun this crazy journey with me will give me a chance to offer you encouragement and passion. I hang my hat on the realization that I have survived some really intense and life changing experiences and I hope that now those experiences will translate into encouragement and energy for you.

What do you hope to get out of my blog?

From the top of my head here is a list of things my wife and I have been able to overcome or dance around this year. I tell you this list not for pity, but to put things into the proper framework for when I close this entry with some positives.

2 detached retina’s, 3 eye surgeries, 1 ambulance trip, 1 damaged cornea from the 3 eye surgeries, 1 eye blind since May, 1 mother diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, 1 major (positive) life changing project put off for another year, loss of my best friend and one of my closest mentors of 14 years, 1 move in the middle of a surgery my wife went through where she had to keep face down for 45 minutes out of every hour, roughly $25,000 in medical bills, 1 family cancer scare, and finally 3 major car repairs that successfully depleted the “emergency fund.”

Ok, if you’re still reading and haven’t jumped off the nearest roof you are doing well. I assume after reading that list you are in agreement that 2012 has not been the ideal year for my wife and I. Here’s the thing, I believe my wife and I are stronger and more in love than ever before. Since the moment I allowed myself to tell her that I was in love with her that flame has grown stronger and stronger.

Often times my wife feels like her health challenges have held me back, made me miss goals, and lost opportunities. You see, for the past 5 years my wife has been battling a major chronic pain issue in her stomach that has been a contributing factor to the fluidity of our calendar. What she does not understand is that her health challenges have been an even bigger contributing factor to all the reasons that I love her. Our 25+ trips to the ER in the past 5 years have helped me realize patience and strength. Her blindness has helped me to become thankful for my sight. Her chronic pain has helped me become a strong advocate, protector, and watchman on her behalf. In fact there isn’t a single negative that I can think of from my wife’s health challenges that has not resulted in value added characteristics in our marriage. Hitting any of those so-called “missed goals” would not have given me the same result.

I share with you this intimate portion of our life because it is important to know that the saying “Things have to get better” is not true at all. Things do not have to get better, and often times there is a stretch of years that seem like, and truly are Hell. Here is the caveat, You can still get better.

10 years ago at this time I had just hung up the phone with my oncologist who was letting me know that there was still some residual disease on my lung, and radiation was a sure thing. People told me “Things have to get better.” Guess what? That was not true. In fact, radiation made that portion of my life worse. College was harder, my lungs felt like they had been exposed to Snooki’s tanning bed, and my irritation level was beyond Grade 10. Here is what also happened though, I decided to make myself better – even though life was seemingly getting worse during those darkest moments.  I made investments in my attitude in the form of positive thinking books, and CD’s. I hung out with uplifting and honest people and I became a voracious reader of all things self-improvement and self-betterment. I realized that I could lay in bed and be sick, or I could lay in bed, be sick, but still be improving. I realized, Life May Not Get Better, But I Still Can.

With that list of negatives above you may be wondering what good things happened in 2012 for the Pride’s? Here is just a smidgen of the great things that happened.

Moved into a new place that we enjoy that is closer to my parents, survived 3 eye surgeries, 1 ambulance trip, 1 damaged cornea and a ton of medical bills, family member’s cancer scare was not cancer, read roughly 25 books on self-improvement and business growth, made a few new amazing friends who are there for my wife and I, spent quality time discussing our feelings and aspirations, helped bless the city of Portland numerous times with our church, been available all of the time for my parents – whether in the case of an emergency or just mooching a free breakfast at Chute’s from them, spoke from stage 15 times this year about “The Value of Special”, went to a red sox game, and – fell more in love with my wife who happens to be my best friend.

2013, I do not know what you have for my wife and I. We hope it is a bounty of wealth, health, and prosperity – but, should it not be, we are prepared for you. You cannot throw anything at us that we cannot overcome, you cannot take any friendships from us that we cannot move on from, and though life may not get better, we still can.

The questions they asked were great! I promised them that they could stay tuned to my blog and in the following weeks and I would address all the questions I answered from the head of the class. Below is an answer I shared with the class about some of my favorite free social media resources and tools.

Hootsuite - Hootsuite seems to be the tool that every social media person I know either uses, has used, or at least knows about. For me, hootsuite provides me a way to create a publishing calendar as far out in advance as I want, and does it for free (though I chose to have the paid version for the additional options and features). I have found Hootsuite to be very user-friendly, and it gives the user an opportunity to schedule posts for Twitter, Google+, and Facebook. Though, please keep in mind, I’m not a fan of sending the same message across all platforms at the same time…unless it makes sense for your marketing goals.

Chris Brogan’s Sunday Morning Newsletter: Master Internet marketer and friend Chris Brogan sends out a really super, relatable, and informative newsletter every Sunday morning. I can tell you honestly that every Sunday morning I lay in bed before I get ready for church and start my morning with Chris. (Okay, that sounds weird.) Point being – I love his newsletter, I really get a lot out of the content, and think you should check it out. Here’s the link: http://hbway.com/nl

Social Triggers - I was turned on to the Social Triggers newsletter by a local internet hero, Rich Brooks owner of Flyte. I have a ton of respect for the amount of knowledge Rich has so when he told me I should subscribe to the Social Triggers newsletter – I did. His advice has not let me down. Derek Halpern, the creator of Social Triggers, does an awesome job breaking down the psychology of why people buy, click, like, or friend. I’m a huge fan and have found his advice to be easy to understand incredibly valuable. Check out his website here! http://socialtriggers.com/

Jon Loomer – I came across Jon Loomer’s website by recommendation of Mari Smith’s newsletter. Jon focuses on Facebook and I have found his website to be really great. He also has a very active and fun Facebook Group that he manages that talks about – you guessed it – Facebook marketing. Check him out for a ton of great information: www.JonLoomer.com

AllFacebook and AllTwitter - Can you guess what these two websites are about? Yup, you are correct – and they are amazing. Check out the sites and sign up for their emails – you will learn a ton. http://allfacebook.com/ - http://alltwitter.com

So, there they are – those are some of my favorite free social media resources – I hope you will check them out. What are your favorites?

Virtual assistant’s are contractors often in other countries, who are looking for work – sometimes it is project based, sometimes it is long-term. Many times the virtual assistant resides in  a country where the exchange rate is in our favor so hiring an assistant can be a lot more economical than you may realize. Stop for a minute and do the math from $1 USD to an Indian Rupee – it works in our favor. In fact, the very website you are reading was created by a virtual assistant I worked with who was located in India.

Best Uses for a Virtual Assistant

The best uses for a virtual assistant can vary based on your needs. Currently I use my assistant to handle all of my technical and website needs. I don’t like working on websites and I am not skilled with code – not even basic code. So, I can pay my Virtual Assistant to handle it all for me and it works out to costing me roughly $100 a month.

Other uses for virtual assistants:

• Answering frequently asked email questions where you can provide a scripted answer.
• Website maintenance
• SEO
• Prospect research
• Outbound phone calls. Many Virtual assistant’s will help with calling on prospects, all you need to do is workout the phone card situation.
• Artwork – I once used a Virtual Assistant to create a logo for a client.

Best Practices when Hiring a Virtual Assistant

This is where things can get hairy. I recommend if you are looking to hire a virtual assistant you go through a reputable agency, I prefer Odesk, an affiliate link is below. Odesk provide you a opportuntiy to list jobs, interview and hire all through a single source. Odesk has a US office and also handles the payments between client and employee.

Once you have listed a job you will receive a handful of resume’s to review. After reviewing them I have found it beneficial to request a Skype interview to get to know your potential VA. Ask them questions about their experience level and they should be willing to provide you with references and examples of their work.

Once you have made a hiring decision the process is very easy. You pay your Virtual Assistant through the Odesk website, you can monitor their progress, and you may find you have made a great new relationship.

If you have any questions I’m happy to help.

What would you use a Virtual Assistant for?

My oncologist, a man named Kurt Ebrahim, is responsible for saving a small community of folks throughout Maine. I would imagine if you took all his living patients and had them move to a similar area – they could have their own little survivorship town. He works his craft out of an office in Biddeford, Maine (though when I saw him he was working out of Scarborough) – it is there where he designs cancer killing recipes, gives sage advice, and all to often tells patients that this could be the end of their story. He is a man with a voice that is experienced and pronounced, a little brassy with a twinge of a biblical accent that I picture Moses speaking with from the top of the Hill while bearing the brunt of the 10 Commandments. I find it comforting. Once a year I visit him and fill him in on my crazy life, what’s new with me, and where or what projects I’m working on.

The process is the same every year. I hop onto the table, he takes out his stethoscope, he asks me to take 3 deep breaths and he

This is me during the middle of my cancer treatments. The little dog is Gizmo, a chihuahua who my parents purchase for me when I was diagnosed. You can read more about her in my blog “Life Lessons from a Chihuahua.”

places the stethoscope on my back. We do this three times until he is sure he does not hear any residual disease rattling my lungs like a famished opossum searching my grandmother’s cabinets. The next part is the most stressful – he places his cancer seeking hands on my neck, closes his eyes, takes a deep breath and looks as though he is listening for cancer to respond to his call – through his fingertips. He looks concerned as his hands radiate around the glands in my neck. All goes well and he does the same process over again to my lower stomach.

The process ends and he says “Hop down and have a seat.” It is here that he will tell me I need to drop a few pounds, not pick up smoking, and he will ask about my family. He will tell me about “survivorship” which is  apparently a new study for people like me who have survived cancer but still think about it a few times a day – in my case, I write about it at least once a month. I will tell him about the book I want to write about my cancer (which I cannot seem to even begin, since every time I do I feel as though I am playing Russian Roulette with the Cancer Gods just by talking about it) and how I hope to speak more about the lessons I learned from it.

Before I leave his office I will receive a check up date one year from the visit I just had and typically I will make some inappropriate jokes to lighten the mood. Down the hall to the right of the scheduler’s desk is where my treatments began. I can smell the chemo, and just writing about it makes my veins flatten and turn to needle proof putty.

So, the question is, why do I continue to speak of this experience in my blog that is supposed to address “The Value of Special” and how to make our customers, clients, and employees realize just how special they are? The answer is quite simple, I have to. Part of my “survivorship” is this belief that somewhere somehow someone is going to read this blog and feel like they are not alone in their battle with cancer. It truly has nothing to do with social media, and nothing to do with building a stronger business. My hope is that this single entry reaches someone who is wondering if they have a chance of survival and what it will be like 10 years later. Here are my promises: 1. You can survive – though, you may not. 2. You won’t ever forget what it was like and if you do, shame on you. 3. Life is beautiful, and more meaningful after cancer – if you so choose. But you will still have challenges. 4. Cancer may be the best thing that ever happens to you, at least it was for me.

In closing, this last visit I had with Dr. Ebrahim was my 10 year check up and guess what? I’m still cancer free. That bastard of a disease has yet to make it’s fight strong enough to hold me down. In 12 months I plan on celebrating my 11th year of cancer freedom and so on. It won’t be until I die of a heart attack or anything else non-cancer related that I will feel I have truly survived this disease. Until then I will continue writing about what I have learned and hoping it helps you realize just how special life truly is.

“He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.“ 1 Corinthians 1:4

The below piece offers no value whatsoever to you, the reader…unless you were in New England for the Earthquake of 2012.  

Enjoy…

T’was the moment before Maine’s Earthquake and no snow had yet fell, not a Mainah was expectin’ it, not even Matt Zidel.

The beans were a cookin’ with dogs on the way, the debates were still brewin’, decisions yet made.

When what to my wondering heart would appear? A frickin’ earthquake, Honey, Quick! Hold my Shipyard Beer!

The kitchen floor began to rattle, the TV it shook, made my fine B&M bean juice slosh a little but I saved it – I’m the cook.

Away to the basement I flew like flash, opened the basement door and nearly stepped on the cat.

The boiler I’m sure it must be bout to blow up, it’s gotta be that, or did Aunt Susie show up?

The boiler she shined with the new fallen dust, the house was still shakin’ – she’s about to bust.

“Honey save the dogs, I’ll grab the cat, don’t make too much noise incase we’re under Zombie attack.”

To the front yard we flew with furry loved ones in hand, the earth stopped shakin’ and I felt like a real man.

Must been an earthquake, the continental divide, sure shook like a banshee’, somethin’ musta died.

T’was at this point to the sky I glanced, noticed a cool breeze and must have forgot my pants.

The Maine Earth Quake was quick, only lost a pile of wood, back into the house, them beans sure smell good.

Turned on the TV and much to my dismay, News Channel 6 had nothin’ to say.

Went to my Twitter and got filled in right quick, Hopped onto Facebook and read till I was sick,

My TV had failed me, my internet came through, next Maine disaster, I’ll be lookin’ for Tweets from you.

Keeping a positive attitude: One major challenge of having the amount of abnormal, life changing events that have happened to my wife and I in the past 6 years is keeping a positive attitude. One of the ways I have found to keep my attitude pointed up is by reading great books like The Magic of Thinking Big and As a Man Thinketh. I find that spending 15 to 30 minutes a day reading or listening to a book that is helping me improve myself makes a big difference in how I deal with the various setbacks that might happen in a single day. Other books I recommend that I have found useful are: Wild at Heart, Go For No!, The Greatest Miracle in the World, and Peaks and Valleys. I encourage you to check out any, or all of these books if you’re looking for a pick me up.

Details, details, details: One of my great strengths is thinking up new and fun ideas, creating marketing around them, and then…loosing all the details. This is why I have found it extremely helpful to have a Virtual Assistant who can do all the little and medium-sized things for my business that I don’t have time to do. Whether it is creating some graphic artwork, or touching up my blog with some new advertising or photo’s, my VA is amazing. In my case my VA lives in India and due to currency exchange rates it is very affordable, and I have found him to be extremely reliable. I use a company called Odesk, it is completely secure and if you have things you just don’t have time or interest to do, I encourage you to outsource it… Timothy Ferris recommends outsourcing in his best-selling book, The 4 Hour Work Week. You can learn more about Odesk by clicking their ad at the bottom of my page.

Public Speaking: I love a good crowd and I love even more to entertaining a good crowd. But minutes before I take the stage I am always one cough away from loosing my lunch. I have found a ton of great resource available for public speakers, and a whole bunch of great books. I would encourage you, if you are nervous about speaking in front of crowds to join a small networking group and get used to giving your 60 second elevator pitch in front of a small crowd. As you gain comfort with small crowds stretch yourself and become open to sharing your message with larger crowds.

Remembering to Read: At the beginning of this entry I mentioned how important reading is to my attitude. What I failed to mention was how much discipline it takes for me to actually do the reading that I promote. One of the tricks I have to keep up on my reading is books on tape. I learned this trick from Michael Hyatt and have found it to be hugely helpful for me to be able to keep up with the latest books. I use it as my reason to go to the gym and do cardio. I can kill 45 minutes on the elliptical while investing 45 minutes with John Maxwell all through the magic of my iTunes.

The point of me sharing all this with you is that even though no matter how many times I read a mechanics manual I won’t remember how to change my oil, there are a few things in life that we can change simply by putting in the time and effort. As those weaknesses become strengths you will find a certain amount of pride in showing off your new skills and helping someone else overcome the barriers that you also had to conquer.

What weakness have you turned into a strength?

(The links above are affiliate links to books and tools I believe in and endorse, if you buy any of the things I talk about I will get a small commission that does not effect the price of your product. Thank you in advance for your support.)

Nothing more special than some amazing coffee art.

One day I hope to be known as the guy who taught companies, entrepreneurs, and like-minded people – about Special. I learned the value of special as a child thanks to various creative things my mother would do to make me realize how special I was to her. I learned more about special when I began my battle with cancer. I continue to learn about special as I strive to show my parents how much I care about them and attempt to pay back a little of what they deposited into my life. Finally, I try and make my community feel special and worth as much as they truly are to me by providing interesting content, articles, and tips. Below I want to share some ways you can increase the Special in you life and company.

• Thank you – Such a simple phrase but when is the last time you thanked your spouse, secretary, or child for something they do really well? A few years ago I had a job that I really did not enjoy. The money was potentially huge but the management was rather poor and I did not agree with the approach to sales I was dictated to take. There was one manager that I really liked though and every time he sent me a text message or email he would end it with, “Thank you!” or something other phrase that made me feel really appreciated. It was his motivating messages that made me want to perform.
• Make More Deposits and Less Withdrawals – A little over six years ago my soon to be wife and I were sitting in premarital counseling chatting with our pastor. He was telling us a little about the marriage covenant, what marriage meant, and a whole bunch of other stuff that quite frankly, I don’t remember. What I do remember is him telling me “David, if you want to make your wife feel more special and loved you must make more deposits than withdrawals.” Pastor Dan went on to tell us about how relationships are like bank accounts and every time we do something nice it’s like dropping a penny into our account – conversely, every time we do something not so nice – it’s like withdrawing a penny…sometime more than penny. He also shared with us that it’s important to understand what equals a deposit to our partners account and do way more of those than withdrawals. This is something I still have not mastered.
• Handwritten – I once had a boss who knew how to keep me motivated. Not only did she pay my bonus on time she would leave a note on my monitor that read, “Great job on this David!” I and many others thrive off recognition and how long does it take to write a little note to let someone know they did a great job. It may sound elementary but I bet it will also be a deposit.
•  Work Hard to Deliver Happiness – One of my favorite blogs and favorite movements to follow is the Delivering Happiness Movement created by Tony Hsieh (Creator of Zappos).  I follow this company because I love the tips and value they offer on creating and delivering happiness within our work/life zone. This company works really hard at delivering happiness and figuring out how best to keep your employees. Check out their site and deliver a little happiness in your life.
• Help Out When There is a Need, and There is Always a Need – Offering help when a client, employee, or co-worker is going through a tough time is a great way to help people realize how special they are to you. My wife has spent the last 60 months battling various major health issues. Most recently it is a detached retina that now is blurring (no pun intended) into a corneal transplant. Do you want to know what makes a huge difference to us? ANY gesture that shows people still care about what she is going through. Below is a short list of things you can do for someone who is going through a tough time – keep in mind, anything is better than nothing.
  • Send a card
  • Bake something
  • Flowers
  • Phone call to say hello
  • Walk their dog
  • Clean their house
  • Send an email
  • Send a Facebook message
  • Stop by with coffee in the morning
  • Stop by with a pre-made dinner in the evening
  • Rent a movie and drop it off
  • Buy a unicorn for them – Just wanted to see if you’re still reading

The point being, doing something for someone is always better than doing nothing. Showing people how special they are does not have to be a monumental task – it just takes effort.

Little Gizmo

One of my greatest friends was originally from Mexico, had short blonde hair, and loved to tongue kiss. Her name was Gizmo and she was a Jimmy Dean type sausage-shaped chihuahua and she would roll onto her white fur covered side whenever you went to show her affection. Not only did she love to lick, she loved and I believe lived to take care of the sick. She was partially responsible for my serendipitous meeting of my (now) wife and also a full-time doggy caretaker of me when I was surviving cancer – and later a companion for my father and mother during their battle against Lyme and now Alzheimer’s Disease. Gizmo was much like most of our fur kids, totally unique and forgiving, full of love and wonder. She taught me a handful of life lessons and I think it is time for me to share them with you – in remembrance of her.

Every New Person You Meet is a Potential New Friend

All it took for Gizmo to like you was to meet you. As long as you did not have gloves on or a few other peculiarities, Gizmo was sure to greet you with a smile, a bark, and a barrel roll onto her plump treat filled belly. I am not suggesting that we greet new friends with hand licks and barrel rolls but I am suggesting that Gizmo had a bit of knowledge that I sometimes forget – Every person we meet is worth something and deserves a smile.

If you have ever had a dog you know that wonderful feeling you get when you walk into the house to a wagging tail, a moist tongue, and happy barks. You also know that terribly lonely feeling when that celebration no longer happens. Are there times in our lives when we forget to greet others with excitement and respect? It is amazing what a little positive energy can do for our relationships.

Don’t Wait Until Tomorrow to Show Love

Call me cheesy but after the various life events I have experienced I am beginning to understand that waiting until the time is right to show love and appreciation for people in our lives may be too long of a wait. One of my favorite things Gizmo would do for me when I was waking up from a chemo drunk nap was run up to my side and beg for me to pick her up. As soon as I did, the kisses came and soon I was more focused on this crazy chihuahua than I was my nausea.

Be a Loyal Companion

Often times the best we can offer someone is just a set of ears. No advice, no money, and no secret sauce – just listening. Gizmo used to sit by my side loyal as a, well - loyal as a dog. When I grew up, survived cancer, and got married Gizmo took to my father’s side prompting him to throw a toy, take her out, or just rub her belly. She only offered ears to listen, no voice to respond from, and often times that was exactly what was needed. Are there times in life we need to offer only loyalty and a good set of ears?

Create Memories…Now

The final lesson little Gizmo taught me was to go ahead and create great memories, Now. Everyday is a new adventure when you’re a 10lb chihuahua. Maintain that adventurous spirit, be willing to go on walks, be excited about detours, and every once in a while – eat desert.

My most loyal pal will forever be missed and when I look back on the many things she has taught me it literally brings a tear to my eye. Life will not be the same without Gizmo in it – and heaven will not be the same with her there. Rest in peace my little lady and thanks for teaching me to love now, create now, be loyal, and most of all – have fun.

What has your pup taught you about life?